I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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