i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize