Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize