for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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