im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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