Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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