he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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