Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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