My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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