were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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