Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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