she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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