I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
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I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
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At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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