drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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