He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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