got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
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How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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