I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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