they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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