there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize