You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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