ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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