just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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