We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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