New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
try to milk me bitch
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize