I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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