My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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