the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
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I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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