Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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