i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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