Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize