u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize