She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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