what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize