And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize