Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize