i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
smell my finger.
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
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No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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