im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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