wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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