is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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