oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize