Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
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So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
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Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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