My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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