tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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