So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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