you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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