I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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