Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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