How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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