I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize