im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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